I was sitting in the front row in class. In front of me, a powerpoint slide that, much like my brain, was blank.
I chanced upon a glance at the time on my computer and realized, to my horror, I had been trapped in my current cold-call for approximately thirty minutes. I looked back at my professor. Considering we were barely through the facts section, I had no hope that I would be reaching the end of this crucible, I’m sorry, case, soon.
My notes so far—“watch recording”—also were not particularly helpful. Absent Plan A: knowing what I was talking about, and Plan B: a solid case brief, I went with Plan C: comedy (your mileage on this plan may vary).
To this day, I still don’t remember exactly what I said. I do remember, generally, the case. I also remember a classmate telling me that I was hilarious (we take the wins where we can get them). I also remember that the cold-call lasted 45 minutes. A veritable ice age.
Being cold called–and having that cold call stretch much, much longer than you want it to–is just one of those things that happen to you as a 1L. Other things that may just happen to you include:
- Raising your hand and being completely wrong (happened to me recently).
- Thinking you understood the holding of the case, and apparently the main takeaway is something completely different.
- Realizing something that you put in your outline is completely wrong, and instead of reprinting the whole thing, you just scribble over the incorrect part.
- Making an outline that is way too long and having to reprint a smaller, more usable, outline.
- Going to office hours and asking a question that feels silly (you should probably still ask it).
- Getting lost–where is the staircase that connects Stuart and the East Wing?
- Absolutely riffing after being called on (or after you raised your hand and got a follow-up question you were not ready for).
- Saying something that is correct and having no memory of it when you go to put it in your outline later on.
- Ending up in the middle of a Heated Debate™ by accident during class.
- Giggling in class and then immediately getting cold-called (my bad).
- Spending $20 on cafeteria food you could have just made at home.
- Getting to a class late (and the professor notices).
- Using 15 highlighters for a complicated case color coding system you drop by spring.
- Giving up on case charts.
- Seeing someone you know from law school out in the wild.
(This list was made with the help of friends)
Here’s the thing, even though (some of) these experiences felt very awful and obvious at the time, I don’t remember most of these moments. I certainly do not remember them happening to my classmates. Some of these moments will also probably (continue to) happen after 1L (there’s a recording of Secured Transactions somewhere that features me asking Professor Hillinger if I could phone a friend…she did in fact let me phone a friend).
The important thing, however, is that these moments do not make you any better or any worse as a law student. They certainly don’t guarantee the grade you will receive at the end of the class. Sometimes in law school, you feel like everyone is watching you. You might feel like the people around you are waiting for you to mess up a cold call, or are talking about the way you absolutely messed up that hypothetical last week.
Fortunately, for you, the people around you are far too busy to do that. They have bigger problems on their hands, like figuring out what “foreclose the possibility” means in a Rule 56(b) motion; or what the benefit-detriment theory is, and why we don’t use it anymore; or what res judicata means; or a million other things that feel more pressing than focusing on other people.
Law school is, fundamentally, just school. And, like in other classes you’ve taken, you’re going to get some answers wrong along the way. If you’re like me, getting the answer wrong in front of people (and the spectre of public humiliation) makes me far less likely to get the answer wrong when it actually matters, the test (probably because I’ve been replaying my mess up in my head over and over). I promise you–you can do this. And (this is going to sound disgustingly cheesy) you will make some really good friends along the way.
Samantha Torre is a 3L student at BC Law. Contact her at torrs@bc.edu.
