Fall has always been my favorite season. There is something about the changing leaves, pumpkin spice donuts, and the beauty of the world slowing down that makes this time of year feel special. I stroll around, listening to the smooth sounds of Miles Davis or John Coltrane that serve as the perfect complement to the cool autumn breeze. Amidst the chaos of 1L, however, I have hardly had the opportunity to appreciate my first New England fall. Between readings, assignments, and everything in between, slowing down has felt like something I simply could not afford. So, when I received an email from Dean Brathwaite reminding me of the retreat I had completely forgotten I signed up for, I welcomed the opportunity to step away, even if only for a weekend.

Each fall, BC hosts Sidebar, a weekend retreat where 1Ls, upper-level students, faculty, staff, and alumni gather off campus to share their personal and professional journeys, explore how to make the most of their legal education and future careers, and reflect on the contributions they hope to make to the world.

Driving to the Connors Center, I was captivated by the bright orange, yellow, and red trees lining the roads. The scenery was breathtaking, and for a moment I was reminded of the beauty I had been moving too quickly to notice. But I arrived carrying more than just my backpack and doctrinal books. My sleep schedule had been abysmal, I was gravely homesick, and I desperately missed my parents and beloved dog, Nyla. Like many 1Ls, I was navigating the demands of law school while figuring out how to care for myself in the process.

Truthfully, I almost rescinded my RSVP. I had a mountain of readings waiting for me and an impending memo that consumed my every thought. The idea of taking a break came with the nagging feeling that I should be doing something more productive. I arrived at the Connors Center in all its grandeur, unsure of what I would take away from the experience—but that, I came to learn, is the beauty of Sidebar. It is not simply about stepping away from law school; it is about giving yourself permission to pause, breathe, and reconnect with what matters beyond the classroom.

While the surroundings offered a welcome sense of tranquility, what made the experience truly meaningful was the people. The faculty, staff, alumni, 2Ls, and 3Ls who facilitated the retreat cultivated an environment rooted in authenticity and vulnerability. Their stories reminded us that behind the grades and impressive LinkedIn profiles are people navigating their own battles and moments of uncertainty. In an environment where it can feel as though every assignment and interaction is another opportunity to be evaluated, their openness created space for us to be honest about our experiences without feeling the need to have everything figured out.

One of the most difficult parts of 1L has been the persistent feeling that I am somehow behind. There is always another reading to finish, another assignment to submit, or another cold email to send. No matter how much I accomplish, there seems to be something else I should have done. Hearing from students further along in their law school journeys challenged that perception. Their stories reminded me that the uncertainty I had been carrying was not necessarily a reflection of my ability or a sign that I was falling short. It was part of the process. There was something deeply affirming about realizing that my peers had wrestled with the same doubts. What I often interpreted as personal shortcomings were, in many ways, shared experiences.

This brought me back to a theme I explored in my first BC Impact blog post: everyone has a story. We rarely know what someone is carrying or what obstacles they have overcome to get where they are today. We see the finished product without fully appreciating the journey. In law school, where it is easy to measure ourselves against the accomplishments of others, we can forget that what we see is only a fraction of the whole picture.

Sidebar brought that lesson to life. There is something powerful about hearing someone articulate a feeling you thought you were experiencing alone. It does not make the challenge disappear or the workload any lighter, but it changes how you carry it. Sometimes, knowing that someone else has stood where you are standing is enough to make the road ahead feel a little less daunting. Sometimes, what we need most is not an answer or a solution, but the reassurance that we are not the only ones trying to find our way.

Thinking back to that weekend, what I appreciated most was the reminder that we are not meant to navigate every challenge alone. At BC, our community extends beyond our immediate circle of classmates. It includes the 2Ls and 3Ls willing to share their experiences, the faculty and staff who create opportunities like Sidebar, and the deans who support us beyond our academic performance. It includes people who remind us that one rough cold-call or moment of self-doubt does not define our law school experience.

That is a part of BC that I do not take for granted. In a setting where achievement can sometimes feel like the measure of everything, I am grateful to be part of a community that reminds us there is more to becoming a lawyer than what appears on a transcript or resume. There is also the person we become along the way and how we treat ourselves and one another as we get there.

I owe immense gratitude to the faculty, staff, and student leaders who made this experience possible, particularly the students whose candidness helped foster meaningful connections. Their willingness to share their stories made it easier for the rest of us to reflect on our own. That, to me, is what made Sidebar Retreat worthwhile.

I left that weekend with a renewed perspective. I am still learning how to find balance. I still have readings to finish, assignments to complete, and moments when homesickness or self-doubt creeps in. One weekend cannot resolve all of that, and maybe it was never supposed to. But Sidebar reminded me that I do not have to have everything figured out to belong here. I can challenge myself while extending myself grace and pursue excellence without losing sight of my purpose.

Sometimes, the most meaningful thing a community can offer is just that—community. For that reminder, and for the people who made it possible, I am deeply grateful.

Special thanks to Dean Lisa Brathwaite, Cindy Ly, Zoe Jackowitz, Liz Fennell, Brody Whetzel, Wayne Yeh, Hannah Scott, Brian Leon, Joy Hall, Prof. Filippa Anzalone, Prof. Evangeline Sarda, Prof. Dan Farbman and everyone else who made this experience possible!

---

Darius Butler is a first-year law student and brand new Impact blogger at BC Law. Contact him at butled@bc.edu.