I feel I have exhausted all I had to say about the first two years of law school (you’d understand if you have ever read one of my posts). When I asked my boyfriend what to write about, he told me to write about writer’s block. I asked, “do lawyers even get writer’s block?” and he told me that it could be a good topic for anyone struggling to finish a memo, a law review article, and anything else law students are expected to write. I have been wondering if the problem isn’t that I don’t know what to write, but that I don’t know how to write it. 

Oddly enough, the kids I work with have been inspiring me more than anything else. On Sunday mornings, I work at the daycare at Equinox (the gym membership is a plus). My regulars come, and I always ask how their week was. I get the craziest answers, such as “My name is now Spider-Man, I got bit by a radioactive spider yesterday” or “I killed the biggest spider in my house using super strength.”

The kids often ask me to read them books, the most popular being The Giving Tree, The Paperbag Princess, and Hop on Pop. 10 out of 10 times, I am interrupted mid-sentence with questions about the story. It’s most entertaining when they answer their own question right after asking me. Although it’s very possible that, based on how many times I’ve read those books, they’re trying to be silly, I still love hearing them make all this stuff up on the fly. I love hearing the ideas and stories they come up with.

I also find it hilarious when they ask me my age and what I do. Most think I’m a teenager, mom, teacher, or all three. Some think I’m 100 years old. When I tell them I’m a 23-year old law student, I have to explain the concept of a 23-year old and what law school is. When they follow up and ask what a lawyer is, I do my best to answer. 

I find comfort in the days when I didn’t have to think about what to write. When I was little, I remember thinking one day I’d be an author. Of course, I had no original ideas of my own: my dream book was just a mishmash of Harry Potter and Percy Jackson books. Writing felt so easy then. When my teachers would give us creative writing assignments at home or a nonfictional prompt, 7-year old me always had something to say. Law school writing is totally different from anything I have ever written before, and there is definitely a learning curve. It makes me miss what writing in school used to be like.

All this to say, I miss being a kid! Sometimes I worry I will never have as much fun or be able to live as presently as I could when I was younger. Taking in the moment during a bicycle ride around my block, wanting school to end all day so I could ride my friend’s bus home for a playdate, hiding my DSI under my pillow when my parents came to check if I was asleep. It was so good. And the only reason I remember so well how these times felt was because I was only thinking about that specific moment.

But who’s to say I can’t be as present now as I was then? With how much work law students and attorneys do, time flies by as we are easily distracted with studying and reading and writing. However, taking a moment, no matter how short or long, to get into that innocent, child-like mindset, can be a great reset: back to the days where all you worried about was what was going to happen in that particular moment on that particular day. When you had no idea what a lawyer was. When writer’s block wasn’t a thing.

Kids don’t worry about being precise or impressive. They just say something. School has made it difficult for me to say anything for fear of coming across as wrong or ignorant. As I continue through school and my own writing endeavors, I will try to emulate the bravery and imagination that I find in the kids at work. If my writer’s block is really just fear in disguise, then perhaps my solution has always been in front of me, standing at 3 feet tall.

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Alexandra Staller is a 2L student at BC Law and Vice President of the Impact blog. Contact her at stallera@bc.edu.