Once again I am directly addressing the 1L class, and also airing out my dirty laundry. Everything I write below—like all my Impact posts—is what I wish someone could have told me before coming to school. As always, all opinions and experiences are my own, as I can only speak to what I endured during my 1L year.

“Endure” will be the theme here. It’s a strong word I typically find only in my romantasy books. Merriam-Webster tells us it means “to remain firm under suffering or misfortune without yielding.” Very dramatic. But to say a student endures his or her 1L year does not fail to satisfy Merriam-Webster’s definition. Some of you may feel like you’re hanging by a thread, trying to go through the motions of law school one day at a time. You are enduring.

This includes grade disappointment. That feeling of pulling your grade up on your phone or laptop, and seeing that damn letter of the alphabet you never wanted to see. I remember staring at my grade, thinking I could change it if I stared hard and long enough. It came up in all of my dreams and nightmares. I didn’t want to talk to anyone in my family about it. I didn’t want to tell my friends. All I wanted to do was curl up and think about why: why did I mess up, why wasn’t I good at this class, why am I so bad at writing exams, why why why why.

You may or may not be in the same position I was this time last year. If you are not in that position, kudos. If you are in that position, I know it all too well and would like to share my main takeaways from my 1L slump.

Takeaway 1: It will be okay. I repeat: It. Will. Be. OKAY. I remember my mom once telling me, “if it’s not fine, it’s not over.” Nothing is over for you because you are unhappy with the grade(s) you got. The world and everyone moves on, and so will you. Honestly speaking, it may take time. It took me months. Let yourself be sad when you really feel it. But always remember, this is not the end-all-be-all. It never was!

Takeaway 2: Focus on school. I just said to let yourself be sad when you feel it, and I mean it. However, be careful not to let it interfere with school. 

It’s hard to focus on your studies when the classroom turns into a game of telephone. You will hear about your classmate’s callbacks and offers. You will see them come into class wearing suits for interviews. None of those things have any bearing on you, so just be happy for them! Your time to wear the suit will come, even if it’s not right now.

Letting the thoughts you have about your fall grades dominate each time they come up will hurt you. There have been classes where all I could think about was how I didn’t belong there. The imposter syndrome was practically screaming in my mind, and I kept repeating the idea that my fall grade confirmed my worst fears. As a result, I missed out on some note-taking and key concepts. This made me feel much worse because I wanted to do better in the spring, and now not only did I have a grade I did not want, but I was risking future grades by getting into my own head.

What worked for me was compartmentalizing. In class, once my professor began to lecture, I did my best to stay present. When I took my spring exams, I reminded myself I only had to focus for a few hours, and then I could take my mental break and decompress. I broke up the day up into time I needed to work and the time I needed to mentally regenerate. It was a process that helped me achieve my goals for the spring semester. 

I want to emphasize that this was a completely individual process that is different for each student. Which brings me to my next point:

Takeaway 3: Talk to people you trust, whether it’s a parent, sibling, friend, or a mental health specialist. Seeking out mental health services absolutely helped me figure out how to understand and improve my anxiety and self-esteem, and come up with plans of action on how to shift my mindset during class or before exams. Sometimes all we need is an outside perspective to remind us just how much we have accomplished, even if we don’t feel like it. Law school is hard in more ways than one, and it takes a village. BC offers student counseling services, which you can find here.

Takeaways 4: Take care of yourself. I put this last, but this should be your first priority. How you perform in school does not matter if you are not taking care of your mental, emotional, or physical health. I have a list of some things that helped me get out of law school mode and ground myself (remember to allocate your time wisely):

• Take walks around the Chestnut Hill Reservoir, with or without music.
• If you have a gym membership, try out a new workout class or workout routine.
• If you don’t have a gym membership, try out some free workout videos on YouTube.
• Read a book you think you will like. For me, that was Sunrise on the Reaping.
• Watch TV after school, something short and stress-free. I watched Parks and Rec and Friends.
• Get a game on your phone to play on the bus to school or in your free time. I recommend An Elmwood Trail.
• Rewatch a nostalgic YouTube series or creator. A Minecraft player or beauty influencer, anything is game.
• Grab a sweet treat!!!!!!!

Anything that will bring you some kind of peace, comfort, or happiness is something that you should do, even if it’s for 10 minutes. Remembering that you are a person outside of law school––a person who is more than just one disappointing grade––is so important.

You are so much more than the letter on your transcript. I know the feeling sucks. Seriously, I do. But pushing through and enduring the rest of 1L with the determination to improve tells you more about yourself than any grade you will ever get. And I am not the only one who will notice.

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Alexandra Staller is a 2L student at BC Law and Vice President of the Impact blog. Contact her at stallera@bc.edu.