Now more than halfway through my first law school semester, the initial warnings and disclaimers that I had been told before coming are starting to make sense. This line I am walking between letting law school take over my time and giving myself time to breathe is one I find becomes blurry depending on what my days or weeks look like. For example, last week my section had our first memo draft due on Friday. On top of all the other classwork I had, all I could think about was the memo. Wake up: memo. Drive to school: memo. Read my Contracts cases: memo. Fold my laundry: memo. Call Mom: memo.

One night as I was laying in bed, I felt an overwhelming wave of law school rise over me. My post-9pm thoughts were racing, and I wondered if this was the thing that was bound to happen that would stick with me until my graduation in May 2027: that all I am is law school. 

Getting deeper into my 1L year, I have been thinking more about what I enjoy doing that would keep me grounded in moments when school took up more space in my mind than desired. I thought about the things I could do that didn’t include reading a casebook or opening OneNote: listening to music and singing along, going to the gym, eating ice cream, rewatching Sex and the City for the fourth time (I’m a Carrie-Charlotte mix). If I wanted to keep my sanity, these were things I was going to have to make time for.

There are definitely times I feel guilty for not doing anything at all. I’ll be laying in bed doom-scrolling on a Saturday afternoon, and I’ll suddenly think to myself: should I be reading my casebook right now? But it’s in these moments I remind myself it isn’t healthy to be “on” all the time. The 30 minutes (or an hour, or more) of doom-scrolling at that point in time is probably better for my brain than any reading could be. Sure, it’s important to recognize when you’re procrastinating versus when you actually do need to take a step away from schoolwork. But getting angry at yourself for taking breaks and time away from school won’t make the work you do any more productive if it’s being done with an absent mind.

Perhaps the most important thing I have come to learn recently–or rather, it’s something I have always known, but never had to put into practice as much as I have now–is that only you best know what you need to do to take care of yourself. If you feel like you need to walk off the 7 hour school day, go for it. If you need to take the scenic route on the drive back from class to hear your favorite song one more time, go ahead. If you feel like you need to go stare out a window in silence during your lunch break, the 4th floor of the library is great for that.

Don’t get me wrong, I love law school so far. It’s been fun and challenging in all of the best ways, and it’s an extremely rewarding experience to be going through 1L. But as much as I love school, as Samantha Jones once said, “I love me more.”  It can become difficult to balance life and school, so in the moments of time you don’t have anything, try to take advantage of it to do something for yourself that isn’t school-related. Even if it’s nothing at all. 

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Alexandra Staller is a 1L student and brand new Impact blogger. Contact her at stallera@bc.edu.